The #1 Flaw in Amateur Writing: Over-Explaining Character Movement, Insights from an Editor

Have you ever read a book that seemed to describe every single move a character made? The kind of writing that spells out every turn of the head and glance of the eye? Every doorway walked through? As an editor, I see this frequently in the work of amateur writers. In my opinion, it is the number one thing that really sets apart amateur writers from experienced ones: ‘He turned left and looked at…he turned the corner, walked through the door etc…’ It can get very convoluted. I once edited a scene that read something like this (character names have been changed):

“No not really, now get to work.” Bob straightened himself and looked at Billy, and Billy gave Megan a look. She gave him a look back and they vanished left through the door. Bob turned and looked back at Gibson.

I don’t know about you, but this made my head spin!

When you over-explain character movement, it can be distracting for readers. It slows down the pace of the story and can make it feel like the author is trying too hard to control the reader's perception of the characters. It's also a sign of a lack of confidence in the writing, as if the author doesn't trust the reader to infer meaning from the context. Consider an action scene where tension and pacing are crucial to creating a sense of excitement and urgency. If you over-explain every movement in such a scene, you risk taking the reader out of the moment and destroying the tension you've worked so hard to build. In an action scene, it's often more effective to describe the characters' actions in broader strokes, focusing on the overall movement and impact rather than every small detail. This allows the reader to fill in the gaps and engage more fully with the scene. Remember, your job as a writer is to create a vivid and compelling story, but also to give your readers room to bring their own imagination to the table.

So why do writers fall into this trap? One reason is the desire to make sure the reader sees the character exactly as the author does. This can be a good thing in moderation, but when taken too far, it can become heavy-handed and tedious. Another reason is a lack of awareness of how much detail is necessary to convey character movement. In some cases, it's appropriate to describe every little movement, but in others, it can be more effective to leave it up to the reader's imagination.

So what can you do to avoid this mistake? First, ask yourself if each movement you're describing is necessary to the story or if it's just filler. If it's the latter, consider cutting it. Second, think about how you can convey character movement in a way that's more interesting or subtle. For example, instead of saying "he turned to face her," you could describe his body language or facial expression to convey the same idea. Finally, trust your readers to fill in the gaps. If you've established your characters well, they'll be able to infer meaning from their actions without needing every little detail spelled out. I once worked with a client who over-explained the character’s every single movement, and just by removing the unnecessary detail we managed to shave down the novel by over 5k words. Before the edit, every chapter started something like this: ‘she got up, showered, ate some toast…’ we don’t need to know those details, so cut to the quick – and keep your reader engaged.

In conclusion, over-explaining character movement is a common mistake that many amateur writers make. While it can be tempting to describe every little detail, it's important to remember that less is often more when it comes to writing. By trusting your readers and being mindful of how much detail you're including, you can create more engaging, compelling characters that readers will love.